red shoes, red skillet

I am disgusted with college right now. Because of how hormonal I am, I am utterly disgusted with college. I am disgusted with my writing class and disgusted at how an entire semester has to be condensed into six weeks. I am disgusted at my roommate’s phone conversation right now. I am disgusted by myself for not checking my writing homework as soon as I got back to the dorm. But I am disgusted at the amount of work that was assigned in one day. I am disgusted enough to stop and write this entry about how disgusted I am.

This is going to be one hell of week for me and everyone around me because hell hath no fury like a woman on her period.

I never want to do this again, this whole summerstart/summer classes shebang. It is disgusting.

As always, I’m posting here because I’m procrastinating. This time, it’s these essays for writing that are due by 12 today. Ha. Well, it’s 9:47 right now, I’ll write until 10 and then I’ll get working. Now that I think about it, maybe I go blog before I write because I need to stretch my writing legs.

It’s 9, almost 10, in the morning. If I were home and not going to work or out, I would still be in bed. Thinking about how early it is and when I woke up led me to make this post. Since I’ve started classes here, I’ve changed and haven’t even realized it.

Every morning, I automatically wake up around 6:30. I think all those years of rising early for Tech has finally become innate, just when I don’t need it! See, my classes start at 10, so I really shouldn’t be awake until at least 8:30. But I don’t mind waking up so early, I always fall back asleep and wake up on time. This is glorious, since I don’t wake up so early out of insomnia or noise.

My eyes just open and I just…wake up. And I’m not the least bit tired or groggy! I think the college air is doing me good. I really hope this keeps up in the fall.

The Fall. As a term, “the fall” is used very often, and to refer to when we come back in late August for real. It’s kind of a scary term. We always hear about “the fall” and how it’s going to be drastically different from the bubble-esque enviornment we’re in right now.

9:56. I didn’t realize the way college has changed me until just now. Some things, like procrastination, obviously haven’t changed–yet. I’ve been eating healthier, having fruit at every meal and drinking lots of water and eating a good variety of food. I should stop eating so many carbs, though. Carbs are simple sugars and can cause cavities–even in-between teeth ones! Gosh, I love my dentist, I learned so much from just one visit. Anyway, I’ve been eating pasta a lot and I’m not sure if it’s so good for me. My jeans were tight around the waistband yesterday…I should go to the gym or do crunches in my room.

9:59. I’m going to go now, and write up my paper. After I hand it in, I’ll go eat or something and maybe watch movies if I can find some.

I really want to watch Camp Rock, I miss Disney Channel. Anybody know where I can watch it online?

Have a good weekend!

I haven’t written here in a while. Hahahah, that’s almost always what I write here every few entries, and always what I write in my paper journal. I’m currently at SummerStart in Syracuse, and it’s good here. I’m not having a total blast, but this isn’t exactly camp. I take two classes and a seminar, and with all the walking I do and the homework I have, there’s barely time to have decent fun. I am, however, really looking forward to going to the Carousel Center mall this weekend and immersing myself in the Great American Pastime: shopping.

I’ve met some nice people here, and my teachers are all nice people. My classes seem easy but are dense–each is a semester’s worth of material compacted into six weeks! The workload is definitely heavier, even with the six weeks excuse. I’ve also been procrastinating and going to bed late, but somehow, I’ve been waking up early.

I’ve been waking up without any alarm clock help, around 6:30 in the morning. I think it’s because I’ve become so used to rising at 6:30 that now I naturally do it. But I shouldnt have to, because my classes start at 10! I don’t mind, though, I get a good amount of sleep here.

I’m actually procrastinating right now; I stopped typing up my Writing 105 homework to blog a little…I’m supposed to be reviewing a Beijing Olympics website and I can’t seem to talk about anything but colors and color schemes.

There’s a board game night/event going on tonight at 9 in the downstairs lounge, but I doubt I can make it, even though I know I should and want to socialize.

My math class! This is the most important class of my life and so far, I’ve done well. We had a very simple, one-question quiz today, which I aced because it was a homework question from two nights ago. The class is Probability & Statistics, and right now we’re learning terms and reviewing some basic things like graphs and charts and the 3 Ms. I’ve been doing well, taking notes and paying attention. I can’t help falling asleep though, but my teacher (a Master’s or PhD student here, I forget which) has a heavy Chinese accent and teaches in a boringly straightforward way. However, I chewed gum throughout the entire class and stayed awake. I guess I have to invest in some gum now…I’ll think of it as an investment in my future. HA

It’s just past 7. I’m going to go and finish my homework, then I’ll head out to Kimmel or Bird Library (gosh I love name-dropping campus buildings, I feel so smart!) to print out my homework and then I’ll shower, and finish The Joy Luck Club.

I’m really happy to finally own my own copy of it. I first read it in like, sixth grade and I’ve reread it a million times since. It’s a must-read, not only for Asian women, but for all women. The mother-daughter relationships described here are ao moving and startlingly familiar, and Amy Tan writes so well, I can’t imagine living life without this book. And I love my large copy of it–the ones I used to read were inches thick with small font and had to be held open by two hands. This one is large, soft, and floppy, and falls open simply and stays open patiently.

By the way, I am not crazy.

Aiya, I’ve dawdled enough.

But one more thing!

I’ve been using more “intelligent” vocabulary lately. This morning, in writing class, I used “bevy” and like, three other SAT-esque words in the space of ten minutes. I’m really turning collegiate, huh?

CATCH Y’ALL LATER!

This is not exactly a husband pillow, but it is the Japanese version created for single girls who want a manly arm to sleep on. That version’s a little weird for me, so I’ll stick to the normal American version.

A normal husband pillow looks like this:

I need one for college because I won’t have an armchair to read in, so this is perfect. Anyone who knows me knows I have an affinity for pillows and that I use like, five to sleep. Mm I also want/need a lap desk for obvious reasons that I can’t seem to type out right now.

COLLEGE!

It’s June first, everybody!

I spent the majority of today watching tv shows on my computer, reading magazines, and thinking. I actually did a whole lot of nothing, because I didn’t get further in choosing college courses, I didn’t clean my room, and I didn’t do anything school-related or productive. I really need a crash course in prioritizing and time management.

Kenny called me and told me some great news–he finally got his hands on a size-small Syracuse tee at Steve & Barry’s! I’m glad I asked for the favor because he’s around there more often than I am. I’m relieved to finally have a college shirt, and that I didn’t pay over $45 for a hoodie to be shipped from the Orange Store.

So June is here. I have 18 days until the much-dreaded Math B Regents and Prom (yes they’re in the same day, how horrible). Then I have 23 and 24 days until graduation and the last day of school, respectively. Then I have 27 days until SummerStart at Syracuse.

I’d better get moving if I want to do everything I want to do before I leave the city. Imagining the week-and-a-half I have between coming home from Syracuse and going back doesn’t count, I’m going to have to do everything this month.

I want to:

-walk across the Brooklyn Bridge

-go to Central Park

-lay on the grass at Brooklyn Bridge Park

-go to some museums

-go bowling

-go to Coney Island

-go karaoke

-go biking

-etc

There are more things I want to do, but I can’t remember right now. I’ll do stuff as the oppurtunities come along, but I’m really seriously about the Brooklyn Bridge (this year is its 125th anniversary!) and Coney Island.

I’ve always loved reading, and reading all kinds of books. As a kid, I lived in the library during the weekends, sometimes borrowing up to thirty books in a go with my brother. The recent closing of my beloved Donnell Library (see Doobybrain’s post) really up into motion the plans I had from the beginning of this year.

As a graduation present for myself, I’m going to buy as many of my favorite picture books as I can. I think it was this summer, or even earlier, when I realized that I don’t own copies of my favorite books or movies. As a kid, I’d done so much heavy borrowing and read so much that I didn’t miss or mind not having my own copy. I also never really had money to spend on books, and never got into the habit of buying books. Walking into a Barnes and Noble and seeing stacks of the same book is still a little weird for me, when at the library there’d usually only be one or two copies. But now that I have money to spend and my childhood is coming to a definite close, I need to buy these books.

I already started, with Alan Schroeder’s Lily and the Wooden Bowl, which is out of print, so I’m ridiculously happy I own it. There are so many other books I’m planning to buy, which means I should make a solid list soon and start putting money aside. This book collecting thing looks expensive–easily over $200.

But I’m ready and happy to do this. I’m going to try and sell my Fruits Basket manga and some other new, unread books to the Strand soon. I also asked Paul to let me work on Tuesdays after school, or some other day.

Ugh, money. I’ll have to seriously start saving, as well as set up a checking account, for college. I’m ridiculously glad I’m not paying for college, but I still need stuff. Wow, imagine I did have to pay for college–I’d go crazy worrying about loans and bills and not be focused on college itself!

Speaking of college, I have to pick my classes for fall and I can’t decide because there are so many interesting classes and things I want to learn about.

Going to back to my big plans, I also want to buy the DVDs for my favorite movies because I don’t own many of those, either. But I doubt I’ll get around to buying DVDs until early next year because my book collecting project is going to take time.

Writing about it is making me excited. I’m going to draw up a list now.

6:54 PM

I’m still writing a list of books I want, but I just realized that I not only want my favorite picture books, but favorite book, period. I want my Amy Tan books (which are must-reads for Asian American women) and as many Baby-Sitters Club books as I can get my hands on (though I doubt I’ll be able to get all 130 and the special, mystery, and BSC Forever ones).

I think this will be my new (expensive) hobby–collecting my favorite books. Thinking about all my favorite books is really bittersweet because I can’t just go back to the Donnell tomorrow and pick up a dozen books. I’m really beginning to see the value in owning your own books since I really thought the Donnell would be here forever–I thought I’d be taking my kids up to the awesome children’s floor or taking my parents up to their world-languages floor. And now I can’t, because a stupid high-end 11-story hotel is taking its place.

After writing up these lists, I’m going to have to find a place for all these as-yet-unbought books to be.

I have felt so blessed these two days. I’m really grateful for everything that’s happened. Sure, I think this good streak has ended already, but I’m still grateful. The biggest thing? I got into Syracuse University! It’s so wonderful to finally be accepted (it’s my first acceptance letter!) and feel wanted somewhere, and know that I am amazing and I have enough potential to matriculate at this great school. I’ve heard that Syracuse is a party school, but I don’t care, it has an amazing communications college that I’m going to apply to again if I decide to go. Plus, Syracuse’s colors are navy and orange. ORANGE, you guys. The orange was definitely a reason why I applied–I even told my interviewer, haha. Oh bless her, I thought she would say that I’m not fit for Syracuse–I guess I was wrong!

My nukes and are driving up to Toronto for the weekend and might stop by at Syracuse. I’m looking forward to walking across the quads of my maybe-university. Aghhhhhhhh I’m just so happy about all this! Initially, when I got the two emails yesterday, I was skeptical because I didn’t receive an official “Your Admissions Decision” email like Kitty did, but I called up today and Julie (coincidentally, she was the one who interviewed me) said that most likely I’ve been admitted but my emails were messed up. So yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! College really is in my future!

I’d been feeling down about college because people were getting acceptance letters left, right, and center and I had nothing. My cousin’s decided on a college for a while now (Posse Scholarship) so it’s depressing to know nothing while she’s been all set to go since December. But now I’m happy to be accepted somewhere–I can breathe more easily. I still have to work hard, though. I have this fear that I’ll be accepted but suddenly rejected if I don’t keep my grades up.

…Which should start with sleeping earlier and getting to first period on time. I have O’Shea again, so hopefully he’ll remember how badly late I was and maybe be a little lenient. Or not. We get report cards on Wednesday (!) so we’ll see.

So it’d October 24th and I have basically a week until the the EA deadline for Emerson is here. So I better get my act together and answer those friggin’ short answers if I want to go to Emerson. I actually struggle with that a lot, which is my number one choice? I don’t have a clear first choice because while Emerson is a communications-centric school, it’s in Boston. I know I’ll miss my mom’s food the most, and I’ll miss my room and my family. I’m gonna be honest here and say that I’m scared for my room if I leave. My mom’ll have it open because the laundry line is outside my room, and if it’s always open then my cousins might go in when they come over and I hate anybody in my room without me with them. And I know my cousins like my pretty earrings and little things all around…

Okay so I just went on a huge tangent. But yeah, Emerson’s so far away from here. I honestly think Syracuse is my first choice because at least it’s still in New York, and has other majors if I choose not to pursue advertising. I can still do so many things, I can earn a degree in something and go on to do voice acting because that’s what I really really love.

I love expressing myself through my voice. I’m not great at singing but when I read aloud in class, the class usually listens, or in stitches because my newswoman voice is hilarious. Seriously.

It’s 9:52 and I still haven’t really started my homework. I’m supposed to memorize my duo piece for Forensics, too. We’re definitely competing on Saturday and if I want to do well, I’d better get my act together and memorize. And buy my goddamn suit. I talked with Annie and we’re going Friday after our school meetings, and maybe we’ll have Korean for dinner.

I really like Korean food, but I don’t think I can eat it constantly because every time I have it I have so much of it I won’t crave it for another month. There’s a Korean restaurant near my workplace, but it’s not truly authentic–but then again I’ve only had the take-out lunch boxes from there, so maybe I’m wrong. I actually don’t want any right now but when Friday rolls around I probably will…and if we go to Daedong MyunOk I hope I don’t get the galbi thang again, I never finish.

9:56. I should really do my math homework. I don’t understand why I take so long to do my homework, I like doing my math homework. Speaking of homework and math, I got my report card today and I did pretty well. Newman failed me. FAILED ME. And it’s a Major class, you’re not supposed to fail any of your major’s classes. He gave me a 60 and while I did fail the (one and only) test he gave us, I know my stuff. I know our Constitution pretty well, for crying out loud. And he also put in “lack of class participation.” What?! Every time I’ve raised my hand and suggested a definition for something (which is the only oppurtunity we had to speak when learning the Constitution, anyway), he shot me down. Geez. But at least I passed math. Just barely, but I did. I really need to bring up my test scores, I hate how I understand the classwork and homework and then BAM a test slaps me in the face.

10:00 Okay seriously I’m doing my homework, memorizing some more, and sleeping. I’m having appetite problems at school, but I’ll talk about that tomorrow.