This is not exactly a husband pillow, but it is the Japanese version created for single girls who want a manly arm to sleep on. That version’s a little weird for me, so I’ll stick to the normal American version.

A normal husband pillow looks like this:

I need one for college because I won’t have an armchair to read in, so this is perfect. Anyone who knows me knows I have an affinity for pillows and that I use like, five to sleep. Mm I also want/need a lap desk for obvious reasons that I can’t seem to type out right now.

COLLEGE!

It’s June first, everybody!

I spent the majority of today watching tv shows on my computer, reading magazines, and thinking. I actually did a whole lot of nothing, because I didn’t get further in choosing college courses, I didn’t clean my room, and I didn’t do anything school-related or productive. I really need a crash course in prioritizing and time management.

Kenny called me and told me some great news–he finally got his hands on a size-small Syracuse tee at Steve & Barry’s! I’m glad I asked for the favor because he’s around there more often than I am. I’m relieved to finally have a college shirt, and that I didn’t pay over $45 for a hoodie to be shipped from the Orange Store.

So June is here. I have 18 days until the much-dreaded Math B Regents and Prom (yes they’re in the same day, how horrible). Then I have 23 and 24 days until graduation and the last day of school, respectively. Then I have 27 days until SummerStart at Syracuse.

I’d better get moving if I want to do everything I want to do before I leave the city. Imagining the week-and-a-half I have between coming home from Syracuse and going back doesn’t count, I’m going to have to do everything this month.

I want to:

-walk across the Brooklyn Bridge

-go to Central Park

-lay on the grass at Brooklyn Bridge Park

-go to some museums

-go bowling

-go to Coney Island

-go karaoke

-go biking

-etc

There are more things I want to do, but I can’t remember right now. I’ll do stuff as the oppurtunities come along, but I’m really seriously about the Brooklyn Bridge (this year is its 125th anniversary!) and Coney Island.

I’ve always loved reading, and reading all kinds of books. As a kid, I lived in the library during the weekends, sometimes borrowing up to thirty books in a go with my brother. The recent closing of my beloved Donnell Library (see Doobybrain’s post) really up into motion the plans I had from the beginning of this year.

As a graduation present for myself, I’m going to buy as many of my favorite picture books as I can. I think it was this summer, or even earlier, when I realized that I don’t own copies of my favorite books or movies. As a kid, I’d done so much heavy borrowing and read so much that I didn’t miss or mind not having my own copy. I also never really had money to spend on books, and never got into the habit of buying books. Walking into a Barnes and Noble and seeing stacks of the same book is still a little weird for me, when at the library there’d usually only be one or two copies. But now that I have money to spend and my childhood is coming to a definite close, I need to buy these books.

I already started, with Alan Schroeder’s Lily and the Wooden Bowl, which is out of print, so I’m ridiculously happy I own it. There are so many other books I’m planning to buy, which means I should make a solid list soon and start putting money aside. This book collecting thing looks expensive–easily over $200.

But I’m ready and happy to do this. I’m going to try and sell my Fruits Basket manga and some other new, unread books to the Strand soon. I also asked Paul to let me work on Tuesdays after school, or some other day.

Ugh, money. I’ll have to seriously start saving, as well as set up a checking account, for college. I’m ridiculously glad I’m not paying for college, but I still need stuff. Wow, imagine I did have to pay for college–I’d go crazy worrying about loans and bills and not be focused on college itself!

Speaking of college, I have to pick my classes for fall and I can’t decide because there are so many interesting classes and things I want to learn about.

Going to back to my big plans, I also want to buy the DVDs for my favorite movies because I don’t own many of those, either. But I doubt I’ll get around to buying DVDs until early next year because my book collecting project is going to take time.

Writing about it is making me excited. I’m going to draw up a list now.

6:54 PM

I’m still writing a list of books I want, but I just realized that I not only want my favorite picture books, but favorite book, period. I want my Amy Tan books (which are must-reads for Asian American women) and as many Baby-Sitters Club books as I can get my hands on (though I doubt I’ll be able to get all 130 and the special, mystery, and BSC Forever ones).

I think this will be my new (expensive) hobby–collecting my favorite books. Thinking about all my favorite books is really bittersweet because I can’t just go back to the Donnell tomorrow and pick up a dozen books. I’m really beginning to see the value in owning your own books since I really thought the Donnell would be here forever–I thought I’d be taking my kids up to the awesome children’s floor or taking my parents up to their world-languages floor. And now I can’t, because a stupid high-end 11-story hotel is taking its place.

After writing up these lists, I’m going to have to find a place for all these as-yet-unbought books to be.

I just noticed that as of RIGHT NOW, I have 1,002 hits. I didn’t think it’d get that high, but thank you!

BY THE WAY TODAY IS TWILIGHT TUESDAY AND I HAVE BEEN DAZZLED.

I’m still being dazzled because all I’ve been doing for the past three weeks is reading and rereading the Twilight saga. Janes told me today that a special-edition of Eclipse is coming out on the 31st with Breaking Dawn’s cover art and first chapter and I just about died. I can’t bring myself to read it though–I’m a total purist (is that even the right word?) when it comes to obsessions and I refuse to listen to previews of songs that artists are about to release or read spoilers for movies or books.

So I will be patient, and wait for August 2nd.

Well, maybe I’ll look at the cover–cover art is nothing to me, especially since I don’t have the covers for the two hardcover books I own. Thanks for not giving me the covers, Eva, it makes the books much more mine.

I love this. I love Twilight. I love love love love it.

Mmmmmmmmm I should really discuss the recent Mark Wahlberg movie, Shooter, here. Sunny, Annie, Sophia, and I watched it over the weekend. Cinematography-wise, it is a beautiful, visually stunning film. Five seconds in, I knew this film was going to be beautiful. Just the scenery is reason enough to watch it , but the story is good, too.

I felt the movie went on too long after the last action sequence. This movie’s also dialouge-heavy and sometimes Mark Wahlberg speaks so fast you can barely catch the jokes. But! this movie provoked my thoughts about covert operations of the US military and the dealings of politicians.

At any rate, I really enjoyed this movie–but don’t watch it unless you have a lot of time to kill.

Honesty is best policy. For a long time, I’ve been known as a straight-up blunt person. Tracey used to say all the time during freshman Spanish how blunt-to-the-point-of-insult I was, and I’ve worked on that, I try very hard to think about what I say before I say it. Still, honesty is a part of me.

However, there are things I cannot bring myself to talk about, especially here–or even with people.

I bought a journal in January to help that, and as a place where I can write freely about the things that bother a girl–boys.

I haven’t written in it since March, and so much has happened since then. I can still remember the stupid things I wrote about and how I’ve matured since then.

Actually, I’m going to go on a tangent now and just say that I bought that expensive notebook with dreams of filling it with stuff–not just writing, but drawings and ideas and paper souvenirs. I’ve only done one of those.

And off on another tangent we go!

I am a flaker. I should get a t-shirt with that on it to warn people of my flightiness. My flaker-esque ways are evident in everything I do–my academic interests, my hobbies, my beliefs, my clothes, my shoes (every month I inch closer to twenty pairs of flats and I still haven’t worn half of them out), my stuff, and my friends.

Being a flaker breaks my heart because only now, in my last term of high school, am I even close to having a group of friends. Heck, even my mind is flaky–the things I think about are so random and the rate at which I think them is so fast that RIGHT NOW I’M THINKING ABOUT THE WONDERFUL SMELL IN THE LOBBY OF THE HOTEL I STAYED AT THIS SUMMER IN WASH DC.

There’s something wrong with me, as a flaker. I was supposed to write quotes today and I ended up watching Ugly Betty (which was a beautiful episode–I love you, Freddy Rodriguez!) and right now I want to erase this entire entry so I won’t look so terrible to you all.

But this is who I am.

What was I writing about?

Honesty.

Honestly, I try so hard to be normal and I am anything but normal.

And at the Poconos this weekend, I realized how horrible I am at tennis. Practice really does make perfect and not playing for over a year did me in.

I think I’m coming down with something, there’s a constant tickle in my throat.

And I’m sorry you had to read all of this. I would delete it, but my attention-whore and honest ways won’t let me.

I’ve been hearing that Katy Perry song for a while now–it’s really catchy, and I can relate. I hadn’t had my first kiss yet and I’d been kissing Kitty on the cheek for the longest time. So today, after hearing the song for a straight week on z100, we kissed and…it’s kinda anti-climatic. But still lovely, thanks Kitty! <3

Actually, now I understand why people kiss with tongue, it’s so much more intimate and…nice, I suppose.

So I got my first kiss at eighteen! Kind of exciting, and it’s definitely something I’ll tell my grandkids–”yeah kiddies, my first kiss was with a girl!” Though I doubt anyone’s going to be shocked by that by the time I have grandkids.

Here’s the video, so you can hear the song:

I’m searching for quotes and aphorisms to write for my quote can now, and came across this site:

The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks

It’s brilliant. I’ve always had a thing for unnecessary quotes and seeing them anywhere, especially in a public place, gets the Grammar Nazi within snap to attention. I’m supposed to be at the dinner table by now, but I couldn’t resist telling you guys. Have fun cringing!

I had a really good day today.

I woke up late this morning, but got my act together and was even able to have a bacon-and-egg sandwich. It was surprising to see my mom make cook bacon since she usually throws stuff together in the morning. But I ate it and rushed out of the house knowing I’d be late.

By the time I swiped into the station, it was 7:39. I’d missed the latest possible train I could take. So I waited, figuring that it’s a new marking period and I could allow some latenesses under my belt. In the train, I mused that it’d be nice if the train would suddenly go on the G line, but let that go since I’d hoped for it before and it never happened.

But then when we pulled into Smith-9th, the conductor announced that after Bergen, this F train would switch over to the G line! Never in all four years has the train done this and on the day I have a smashingly good bacon-and-egg sandwich, on the day when it’s drizzling slightly, on the day I have my work slacks on and they feel amazingly good, THE F SWITCHES OVER TO THE G LINE.

I…got to school around the same time I always get to school when I take the 7:34.

Then during economics first period, only a handful of people were there. Out of team Chinatown, only Damala and I were there, so we were forced to play Acquire ( just sat there like a dead cat yesterday). We decided to add a new tile to H9, and bought more stocks of America. By the time Taniel joined us, American was sold and we recieved $5000 as a result, since we owned the most American stock. Awesome! Then Kenny came in and we played some more, and I think we’re doing well in the game–our first corporation is definitely safe, with 12 tiles.

Then then then during second period, we couldn’t play any music since the AP was going on around the corner and down the hall, so I had all period to do my math homework (which I’d sacrificed in order to read Twilight, WHICH IS AMAZING). So I did my math homework in a jiffy. And it was surprisingly easy!

Now I need to tell you. I’d had a title for this post worked out since this morning, but up until just now, I’d forgotten it and I had “i had a title for this, but i’ve forgotten it” as my post title. Well, obviously I remembered but here’s the reason behind the title:

I was bored as heck in Newman’s class yesterday and decided to try my hand at Solitaire on my phone. Up until yesterday, I always gave up on Solitaire since I’d end up being blocked by something. But then I was playing, and something in my mind clicked and I realized something about playing Solitaire, that all I had to do was look at the cards differently and strategize a little…and I won. And I’ve been winning Solitaire ever since.

Okay back to my wonderful day.

After second period was gym. Today was rainy and gray, so we stayed inside and played volleyball. I was excited for it, since we’re supposed to be playing handball for the rest of the days, and I dislike handball. Volleyball wasn’t great, but I had fun.

In philosophy, Mr. Stein brought in a tv and we watched the first episode of Lost. I don’t watch, but it was interesting. And I don’t see how it really relates to philosophy (although the TV Guides I used to get always talked about how Lost was full of theories and allusions and philosophical things). And Kenny gave me a Choco-Pie, so philosophy was that much better.

English was uneventful as usual, but math was gooooooood. Today was a shorter lesson than most, and he announced that we’d be getting handouts for homework from here on in! That means I don’t have to do my homework at home with textbooks! I can hang out after school and come home and do nothing and do math homework…IN SCHOOL! Wow I’m excited

After math and lunch, my day was okay, but all day I couldn’t stop thinking about Twilight. I made myself stay up to finish it and I did, and I love it so much. I love Edward and Bella, I love their story. And I wouldn’t usually read fantasy or vampire fiction, but Twilight is so legitimate and everything makes so much sense and Edward is perfect. Perfect.

And Eva’s going to lend me her copy of the second book, “New Moon!” And the library notified me about my reserved copy of “New Moon,” that it’s available for me to pick up now! How lovely, really.

This afternoon, I went straight home and took a good nap. Now I’m blogging about my wonderful day!

But one more thing!

My parents and I had just sat down to eat dinner when I my brother came home and put an opened Dell box on the floor. I glanced at it, then figured it was some parts he’d bought or something. But no!

MY BROTHER BOUGHT ME A LAPTOP. A LAPTOP, YOU GUYS.

A BEAUTIFUL DELL XPS PRODUCT RED LAPTOP FOR MY BIRTHDAY.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU BRO!

We’d talked about getting me a laptop and picked one out, but I thought we were going to buy it together (he originally said he’d split the cost between himself and our parents). But then he went and ordered it and it’s so much more beautiful and streamlined than I imagined, with a lovely padded case for it and a cloth to keep it clean and and and…

IT TAKES MY FINGERPRINT AS MY PASSWORD.

And it has a remote that’s concealed into the laptop itself, and a button to turn on the laptop to use just for watching stuff, and it has a CD drive like the Wii (ie it sucks the CD in), and it has a webcam and a special version of Windows Vista and I love ittttttttttttttttttttttt.

I’m gonna go now, since It’s 10:30 and I haven’t written any new quotes.

LIFE IS AMAZING.

I can’t stop thinking about and watching the teaser trailer for the movie “Twilight.” “Twilight” is based on the first book of a series by Stephenie Meyer and…enough facts.

I saw the books in libraries and stores and their covers caught my eye, but I was sure I’d moved on from YA books, so I passed. Then I started hearing a lot of buzz on gossip sites about Robert Pattinson (aka Cedric Diggory in some vampire love story. I saw some set pictures and ogled him, but didn’t care/know much.

Then I watched the trailer on Sunday, out of curiosity.

Oh my god.

Robert Pattinson’s eyes. His eyes. I fell in love with him right there. I swear it’s like he’s looking into your soul, and in the most beautiful, serious way possible. And his eyes, his face after pushing the car away? I have no words. Near the end of the trailer, he has this insane half-smile that just…

Kristin Stewart is so beautiful. I first saw her in the movie “Catch That Kid” where she played a young mountain climber who executes a heist in order to save her dad. She looked and sounded like a tomboy then, but I’ve seen some recent photoshoots and she’s is definitely out of her awkward stage. She’s just gorgeous.

And they are gorgeous together.

And I am going to buy the book tomorrow if I have to. I can’t wait for this movie and to be immersed in this series.

Here’s the teaser trailer:

My pawpaw’s brother died last night. My parents went to the hospital again late last night and were home by 10:30. He was already gone by the time they arrived, but my mother’s cousins were there with him. I knew there was a reason for today’s rain, after such lovely sunny days. He’s gone now, and free from the suffering that the cancer caused. bless his heart

It seems I tend to watch Grey’s Anatomy on rainy days or at night. I just finished the new episode, “Where the Wild Things Are.” Every time I watch Grey’s Anatomy, I come away from it thinking. Meredith’s opening and closing monologues make me think. In this episode, she elaborated on inherent differences between humans and animals. And I liked how the episode has a running animal theme–actually, I really liked the episode. The writing was amazing–the dialogue between characters, the plot and subplot, the surgical contest. In this episode, we saw the ugly side of people, whether it was an abundance of pride or a lack of judgment or the inability to get overcome.

I’m glad we have new episodes, I’d forgotten that I watched tv or followed shows.