red shoes, red skillet

My pawpaw’s brother died last night. My parents went to the hospital again late last night and were home by 10:30. He was already gone by the time they arrived, but my mother’s cousins were there with him. I knew there was a reason for today’s rain, after such lovely sunny days. He’s gone now, and free from the suffering that the cancer caused. bless his heart

It seems I tend to watch Grey’s Anatomy on rainy days or at night. I just finished the new episode, “Where the Wild Things Are.” Every time I watch Grey’s Anatomy, I come away from it thinking. Meredith’s opening and closing monologues make me think. In this episode, she elaborated on inherent differences between humans and animals. And I liked how the episode has a running animal theme–actually, I really liked the episode. The writing was amazing–the dialogue between characters, the plot and subplot, the surgical contest. In this episode, we saw the ugly side of people, whether it was an abundance of pride or a lack of judgment or the inability to get overcome.

I’m glad we have new episodes, I’d forgotten that I watched tv or followed shows.

My parents rushed out of the house this morning to go to the hospital. My pawpaw’s youngest brother is dying of pancreatic cancer. He’d called relatives this morning and they rushed over to say goodbye. But he’s still alive, as I type. My mother told me the doctors said he only has tonight or tomorrow morning, and then he’s gone.

I didn’t know him at all, though. I can’t even remember his face. I’m just shocked that someone in my family has cancer. Someone in my family is dying of cancer.

I remember talking with my boss Paul about family members dying. I was inputting and I mentioned how the upcoming Sunday I’d be going to New Jersey to “hang san” (pay respects to the deceased) for my great-grandfather. Paul told me he’d be going, too. Then I said that I’d be going somewhere else after, and he replied that he spends the whole day there.

It was then that I realized that I’m a very lucky person. I’ve only experienced two deaths in my family up until now, and Paul has a whole day of grave visiting every year. Paul is 32 years old, and I am a little more than half that. It breaks my heart to think of the people that will be dead or dying by the time I am 32.

I know that people die, but I honestly didn’t realize that over the next few decades and for the rest of my life, people will be dying in droves. I have a lot of middle-aged and older relatives. All my life I’ve been a little disappointed at the lack of activity in my life, from weddings to parties to funerals. And now I’m standing at the beachfront, waiting for the tidal wave of wedding and funeral invitations to wash over and consume me, and I can’t walk away.

Time is tickin’

EPIK HIGH

PIECES, PART ONE

Epik High - One

I love this album so much (I just paused it to tell you all!) that I’m going over to K-Town to buy it tomorrow.

<3

So in my last post, I mentioned that I’d learned to fold dumplings. Well, here are the pictures! BTW, they’re just green-skinned dumplings with the usual pork, chives, and shrimp filling. The green has no flavor, so don’t be freaked out.

My first one!

I used my camera’s macro option for this one…it came out really nice so I washed my icky hands and grabbed the camera. My mom thought I was crazy hahahaha

Same dumpling, but from another angle. Why yes I’m proud.

I started putting all of my dumplings into an empty tray at one point, and I think I made about 30 in all. These are all mine, and from here you can barely see the inconsistencies.

So those are my dumpling pictures. I can’t wait to have them tomorrow morning/over the week. We ate the ones my mom and dad made earlier and they were aaaaaaaamazing!

Now, to homework and sleep. Have a good week everybody!

FIVE DAYS. FIVE DAYS UNTIL DISNEY WORLD. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~

LOL almost forgot–I finally bought a prom dress! My brother drove me and Eva to Estelle’s in Farmingdale, Long Island. It took a few hours, but both us bought prom dresses we’re really happy with. My aunt also tailored the hem in a jiffy for me, so I’m totally in love with it now. All I need now are some underthings and a clutch.

OK GOODNIGHT.

BIG BANG SARANGHAE<3

I love both Big Bang and Coffee Prince, so when they smashed together, I got a supernova of hot boys, brilliantly campy acting, and some slap-yourself-and-bite-your-lips sexual tension.

I’m going to post tomorrow about my dumpling-making endeavor, but right now I’m going to finish the parody, take a shower, and sleep. Because tomorrow I get to go out for the first time in a long time, even if it’s a work thing and we’re celebrating a birthday…with karaoke! LOL they all voted today that the youngest, i.e. yours truly, has to sing first.

BTW, Miss USA is on right now and Miss Florida is an exact replica of Jessica Simpson, and her name is also Jessica. LOL Plus I’m sure she had collagen injections to her upper lip, it looks scalloped and unnatural.

Just when I’m feeling bored with music, DBSK manages to pick me up again. I downloaded their new PV for their upcoming Japanese single, “Beautiful You”, and I can’t stop listening. I’m addicted to this song. I can’t even listen to anything non-DBSK right now, I’m so head over heels for them again.

Like really. Every time I think I’m tired of DBSK they find a way back to me and I’m happy again and this song is just so beautiful and the tempo is perfectly in the middle, it’s neither a ballad or dance track.

And I love the English. “You’re such a beautiful woman~” is–dammit I just have to hear it again. You can’y see this, but I am totally blissed-out on this song. Their voices are so well trained and comfortable singing like this and Yoochun just…HE’S SITTING ON A BED, LEANING AND SAYING IN HIS BEAUTIFUL HUSKY VOICE “you’re such a beautiful you.”

YES I’M GOING TO BREAK OUT THE FANGIRL CAPS NOW. I HAVEN’T DONE THIS IN FOREVER.

I LOVE YOU DONGBANGSHINKI. I LOVE YOU FOR RELEASING SUCH AMAZING SONGS LIKE “DARKNESS EYES” AND “LOVE IN THE ICE” AND “FOREVER LOVE” AND NOW “BEAUTIFUL YOU.”

YUNHO I LOVE YOU HAIR NOW. IT’S SO BIG AND GLOSSY AND UGHHHH I JUST DIE LOOKING AT IT. Sure, you look almost exactly like Brian in the PV, but hey YOU ARE SMOKIN HOT. JUST WEAR WIFEBEATERS FROM NOW ON KTHXBYE.

JAEJOONG THOSE V-NECK EMO SWEATERS ARE KILLING ME. BUT YOUR FACE OHMYGOD YOUR FACE. KEEP IT UP BABY KTHXBYE.

YOOCHUN WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR? I STILL LOVE YOU AND YOUR SEX VOICE AND YOUR MOUTH THOUGH. WASH YOUR HAIR KTHXBYE

JUNSU YOU JUST KEEP GETTING BETTER AND BETTER AT VOCALIZING. I LOVE YOU EVEN THOUGH YOUR AEGYO DAYS ARE OVER. SING BABY SING KTHXBYE

CHANGMIN YOU HAVE GROWN UP AND MATURED SO BEAUTIFULLY AND I JUST MIGHT LIKE YOU MORE THAN I DO THE OTHERS BECAUSE I SAW THAT VIDEO OF YOU IN OSAKA AND YEAHHHH DO THE WAVE KTHXBYE

ALL OF YOU. I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU. STAY IN JAPAN IF YOU HAVE TO, TO KEEP PUTTING OUT THESE AMAZING SONGS, UNLESS YOUR FOURTH KOREAN ALBUM REALLY SPEEDS UP GLOBAL WARMING.

OKAY THE SONG. THE GUITAR IN THE BEGINNING REMINDS ME OF SHAKIRA’S “LA TORTURA” FOR NO REASON AND THE START IS KINDA SLOW BUT THEN THE SONG EASES INTO THE CHORUS AND I JUST DIE.

YOU’RE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL WOMANNNNN

OHMYGOD I JUST NOTICED THAT YOOCHUN’S WEARING PANTS, A BLAZER, AND NOTHING ELSE WHEN HE’S ON THE BED. ON THE BED WITH THE COVERS FOLDED OVER. OMFG YOOCHUN STOP IT SUSAN’S GONNA LOSE IT.

I JUST LOST IT. JUNSU AT 2:29 KILLLLLLLLLLLLLS ME.

I should really post this PV up for you all to see how insane I am.

BACK TO THE PV

SO THE DANCE IS KINDA LAME BUT IT’S LIKE THE “MY DESTINY” DANCE, IT’S JUST THERE TO PASS VIDEO TIME AND TO SHOW OFF THE BOYS’ MOOOOVES.

CHANGMIN MAKES SITTING IN A CHAIR SEXY. WHAAAAAAAAAT.

I LOVE HOW THEY’RE WEARING SUITS MORE OFTEN NOW, IT’S SO FRESHHHH AND MANLY.

I GOTTA GET THIS PV IN HQ, LQ IS KILLING ME, I NEED TO SEE THEIR BEAUTIFUL FACES UP CLOSE.

CHANGMIN KILLS IT AT 3:26. I LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH

YUNHO AT 3:45 IS AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THERE ARE NO WORDS.

OKAY HERE’S THE PV.

watch?v=cYwUn0r236g&feature=related

1:31 AM

My head feels heavy so I’ll type fast. I can’t figure out how to embed it but please watch. TYVM

I can wash and cook rice. I can boil water. I can make eggs. I can bake stuff. I can make some kickass pasta. But now…I can make chicken wings! I love my mom’s chicken wings, so when she told me she was making them today, I stalked her into the kitchen and bummed around until she was ready to teach me.

So she did, and I made like a sponge and soaked everything up and the wings came out beautiful–great color, great smell, great taste! I was really proud of them , so I snapped some quick pictures and here they are:

Gorrrrrrrrrrgeous.

My mom had let the wings sit in a tupperware-esque box with some garlic last night; then in the wok, she had me throw in some soy sauce, scallions, and some molasses for slight sweetness and shine. Honey works well, too. Once you get to cooking it, it’s not hard at all. So now I’m definitely able to feed myself if I ever move out (very unlikely once I’m back from college). I think I had like, four. I would’ve eaten the rest if my brother didn’t want the last two to bring to work tomorrow.

Okay it’s 9:53 and I still haven’t done any homework. Toodles!

BTW, I am DEFINITELY going to Syracuse. Gonna order my merch soon and orange-ify my closet!